by David Wilson

My wife asked me to write a piece on what a strong woman means to me. A take on strong women through my lens and in doing so I’ve realized that it’s a very hard thing to define. I think mostly because strong women come in many different forms.

To me, in it’s simplest form, a strong woman is someone who defies expectation. A woman who flies in the face of convention and demonstrates a power and will to be the best version of herself that she can be.

I am blessed that within my family I am surrounded by strong women. My great grandmother, Marie, rescued my grandfather from Czechoslovakia and got the family out just two days before the Nazi’s invaded Prague. They were amongst a handful of Jews that were fortunate enough to escape and it was because of Marie’s relentless will and persuasiveness to get the visa papers to leave the country.

My mom worked for a leading advertising agency and moonlighted teaching University business classes so that me and my siblings could attend private school, summer camps and go on family vacations. Huge sacrifices but the trade-offs were immense. Strong women in my own family have played such an important role in my life that it is no surprise as to why I sought out the same attributes in my wife Sarah. She embodies strength in everything she sets her mind to and for all these women, I am truly grateful.

So which women, in my mind, are not strong? Let’s start here. Those that become so fixated on being thin that they intentionally starve themselves rather than eating full, healthy meals and putting in the hard work. Those that shy away from any activity because it may not be perceived as “girly”. When was the last time you tried something for the first time? Rock climbing, yoga, kayaking, cycling, CrossFit, paddle boarding… The opportunities to get active are endless. Go do something with the body you were given. Who else? The Instagram models that are equipped to offer the world so much more than their duck-faced smiles pouting their botox-fueled lips. The girls that pretend to act dumb. The girls that if they spent as much time fixating on books as much as their boobs, they’d be able to offer way more to the world. The girls that are fully capable but simply don’t even try to lift their luggage into the overhead bins on airplanes. The girls that won’t pick up a weight because they’re afraid their “arms will get too big”. Afraid of what? Becoming a little bit stronger?

Media will objectify women and to a lesser extent men. They will try and sell you their definition of beauty. In this scenario, I blame men but also the women too since they are the target audience and consumers of this content. There are choices. Plenty of magazines, blogs, podcasts, TED Talks, TV shows, and so on celebrate the brains and the contributions to the world done by amazing, talented, smart, forward-thinking, women. Consume more of these. Allow your nightstand to serve as a necropolis of varied magazines, books, sketch books, idea pads, iPad and anything else inspirational that serves as a break from social media.

There is nothing sexier than woman with brains. Nothing. And this includes intellect, a strong social IQ, confidence, determination, humor, and all the nuanced adjectives that come from having a healthy, stimulated brain.

So which women, in my mind, ARE strong? Let’s look at the women’s Team USA FIFA team that just won the World Cup? Or Misty Copeland? How did these women achieve their success? They committed to a goal and worked HARDER than all of the other people that worked tirelessly hard to try and take their place. That’s hard work. Or, what about a woman that can clean and jerk 185 lbs? That’s strong. However, equally as strong, if not more, are the following women… The woman who could be 200 lbs overweight and in spite of dealing with her own demons, has to put herself out there, in a judgmental society and work out with those way more fit. Way more athletically capable. That is a strong woman. Or anyone that signs up for a marathon, a triathlon, or their first 5k… Signing up? That is strength. Committing to the training schedule? That too is strength. Strength is so varied that it could be the overweight woman educating herself on nutrition at the plea from her doctor or the grandmother that just quit smoking as soon as she held her grandchild for the first time. The women that recognize these catalysts and take action to create change. We don’t know what each person may be struggling with. We truly don’t. What about the single mother with 3 kids to feed balancing two minimum-wage jobs? Now imagine this woman with a 15-year old car that broke down and she now has to wake up at five in the morning to catch a bus just because she can’t afford a new car. THAT is strength. That’s super human strength.

Society has its way of trying to make you dumb. You’ll be force fed shitty reality TV programs that glorify weak women, that overwhelm your social feed with photoshopped versions of unattainable “beauty”. You’ll encounter adversity along the way including jealous friends, personal set backs, many failed attempts, and to some, perhaps unimaginable loss.

Life is hard and it’s designed that way in order for us to truly thrive, to innovate, to push forward... To overcome adversity and shape ourselves into the best possible version of ourselves that we can be.

In a way, strong women are like icebergs. We see what’s above the surface. The hard, chiseled piece that shines bright and glows. That’s what we celebrate. However, strong characters are built from the majority of the stuff you don’t see... The stuff beneath the surface and the foundation is usually larger too… A young Misty Copeland building strength and increasing her mobility in her daily 6-hour workouts. The single-mother studying for a nursing exam after the kids are asleep. The volunteers patiently helping the elderly get into a bath after they soiled their sheets. The obese woman that just hit “click” and signed up for a half-marathon. The graduate students polishing up their business presentation late at night.
 
There are strong women everywhere. External pressure, life challenges and adversity of all kind is inevitable. The best part about life is that it is up to you to make of it what you want. Everyone is accountable and responsible to create the best version of themselves. There is nothing more amazing than the strong women that defy expectation and commit to conquering life. Cheers to strong women everywhere!